Give me Criticism so I can be Better!

I had a revelation recently about criticism.  Last week during a meeting with my book illustrator, I realized my change in attitude over helpful feedback. He showed me his initial sketches that are bringing my words to life (which I absolutely love!)  However, on one page, I had too many things happening in the story.  Within four lines I had so much detail packed that he could not convey the art to match the tale.

The artist appeared to be very cautious about how he told me his suggestion.  I think he was trying to ‘soften the blow’ to not upset my ego. But I found my eyes lighting up instead.  I was eager to embrace his critical comments.  After he said that and I read my words again, I knew he was right.  Indeed I was trying to say too much and needed to trim down.  If we adults can’t follow the story or convey the artistic message, how will children (my target audience) follow and understand it?

After we talked, I told him to please tell me other instances where he encounters the same thing in my work.  I urged this colleague to share any tips he has to help me improve the story.  I know this one page will not be the last that needs help with transition and more concise content.

I actually enjoyed having a fresh perspective look at my writing.  He reviewed my creativity from a whole new angle that I needed to hear.  That criticism would help enhance the book.  It would also help stretch me as a writer.

I then thought back to an article I wrote two weeks ago.  My client had several revisions to the news piece I composed. With each new revision, the story sounded clearer and more articulate. We corresponded back and forth a half dozen times before the approval came in.  Only on that last occasion of edits did the best possible article emerge.  We had to push through multiple edits to share the intended, important message.

The criticism applies to more than just my writing. I’ve also accepted it favorably into my personal life.  I’ve taken feedback easier from my family.

A month ago I came home from work complaining and groaning to my husband about the difficulties I faced on a particular day. I went on about the interruptions, lack of a procedure and non-proactive attitude of others.  My husband let me vent for a few minutes. Then he quickly pointed out his work day in comparison.  He shared with me his larger team challenges and the much higher budget concerns he faces.  He then reminded me about those people who are unemployed and only wish they had a job to complain about when they are home like us.  His realistic comments may seem harsh but it was exactly what I needed to hear.  I listened to his sound advice.  “You’re right,” I finally said.  He was.

We then talked about ways I could improve the employment situation.  He had some great suggestions for problem solving.  I even had a few tips for him.

If I stopped to think about my situation more openly and thoughtfully, I would realize that the criticism can be helpful. I can be more accepting and appreciative.

Years ago I would have never been so welcome to open the door to criticism.  I would have groaned or rolled my eyes at it actually.  My younger, more ignorant self wanted to do everything right.  She wanted all things to be perfect or to handle things correctly on the first try.

But reality does not work that way.  We must embrace the faults and cracks within ourselves, within others and in any situation.

I now hold open the door for criticism.  I leave a window open to let criticism breeze in.  I want her to sit down and talk with me.  I know she has words that should not be ignored, especially the helpful recommendations that truly push me to be a better writer, communicator, employee, friend, mother, wife and overall person.

So come on in criticism… Tell me what I can do better. Help me broaden my mind. Share with me how you think I can add to the story or experience.  Point out my mistakes so I can learn and grow from them.  Tell me what works and why that appeals to you or why it does not grab you.  I want to know.

Because that will make me even better.  And I want to be the best version of myself possible.