Day Dates and Porta Potty Moments

My marriage is in the day date phase.  My spouse and I have been married for over twelve years. We have two children with no babysitter in place and no relatives around to help. Therefore my husband and I take a day off from work so we can have a real date.  Our most recent day date was Friday, March 13. After dropping off one kid at school and the other at day care, we went off on our “adventure.”

Only these voyages look different than how they happened a decade ago. Now our free time involves going on errands and returning home to relax in a quiet house.

Actually Friday’s events started off rather comical. On our drive to a restaurant to eat breakfast, cars began slowing down on the interstate. Some were pulling around others into a different lane.

My ever patient husband in highway traffic says, “WTF?” (only he said the words for each initial).
“Calm down,” I say to him.  “We’re in no hurry.”

Then we see the problem in the middle of the road. A busted Porta Potty was turned sideways and partially smashed. Suddenly the frustration turned into humor.

“Well that’s shitty,” my husband says.
“Yeah, I hope this isn’t a sign that it’s going to be crappy day for us,” I say back.
Soon we are both laughing and forgetting about the rainy weather and our hungry tummies.

We enjoy a nice breakfast at a more upscale eatery since we didn’t have our kids with us. After that, the time was only 9:20 a.m.

“What should we do now?” I ask.
It was early and cloudy. Our choices were limited due to the time and weather.

“There isn’t really a movie playing now that I want to see. I’d like to go to Home Depot to get things for the yard.”
“Alright,” I say. “Then after that I want to visit a new bookstore I haven’t been to yet.”

That was how we spent our morning – going to hardware stores, bookstores and department stores for shopping. Surprisingly, this was actually fun.  With just he and I riding around, talking, holding hands, being quiet, enjoying the getting in and out of the van without our kids giving us a hard time — all of this was nice for us.

Around 1 o’clock, we went home. We had sex. Then we watched four episodes of “How I Met Your Mother” on Netflix.  That was how we chose to end our day date.  Perfection.

By 3:45 p.m., we realized the time came to pick up our kids. Our time alone had come to a close.  I offered to get them myself.  “No, I’ll come with you,” he says.  He still wanted to spend time with me.

This day may not seem very exciting for most folks. It may seem like nothing special at all, in fact. But it was just right for us.

In addition, we were both so thrilled not to receive a phone call from the school or day care. In the past, we’ve had to cut our day dates short due to a child with illness or worse, one with head lice. I half-expected something to go wrong… it was Friday the 13^th after all.

No we made it through the day date. It was late evening, after dinner, before one of our kids starting feeling bad. Our youngest did have a fever.

Despite our crazy, hectic schedules, I’m learning to enjoy the stage of life I’m in.   I’m also learning to make time for me and my spouse when I can, even if that means taking a day off from work or saying no to activities and obligations.

Day dates with nothing special are good.  My husband and I don’t need to be at the beach, drinking beers at a bar or having some romantic candlelight meal. All we need is just a few hours to ourselves. We can be doing anything, it does not matter. We just enjoy being together.

That’s what I am most grateful for about our marriage after 12 years. We still like each other and love each other. We can hang out like friends and lovers. We could be looking for grass seeds to plant in the yard, kissing each other passionately, or people-watching in a department store. As long as it’s him and me, we are happy.

Take some day dates with the one you love. Do some simple tasks but do them together. The small things make a big, lasting impression after all.  And…don’t let a turned over, busted Porta Potty (or temporary shitty moment) ruin what could be a great day or your relationship.