Apply Science of Inside Out Film to Children and Self when Needed

When I witnessed my seven year old yell at her younger sister during a routine bath, I blurted these words out: “When did Anger take control of you?  Can we try to find Joy again?”

I could not help myself.  The summer release of the Disney Pixar film Inside Out has caused my brain to put a lot more thought into my children’s emotional breakdowns and mood swings.

The movie may be designed to entertain kids but I was taking parenting notes throughout the scenes.  In fact I often reference the characters (emotions) of Joy, Sadness, Disgust, Fear and Anger that were living inside eleven-year old Riley’s head.

“You don’t tell me what to do!” my oldest daughter said sharply.  Her irritated tone nearly escalated my inner anger persona to take control.  But I managed to calm myself down and thought carefully for a moment.  Rather than scold her, I wanted to distract her and make her laugh.

“What can I do to make Disgust appear?  I’d rather see her than Anger,” I said smiling.

My daughter almost cracked a smile back but not quite.

“Should I look for a dead bug or should we wait until your sister farts?  That will bring Disgust into control,” I continued.

Finally my daughter giggled and showed her crooked teeth.  She had found her joy again.

At that moment, during that night, my film references worked to bring my daughter’s mood into a stable, peaceful place again.  However, I know this will not always be the case. I have a long road ahead of me, especially with a feisty three year old staring at both of us as we discussed the characters.

I was not surprised to learn that the Inside Out writer-director Peter Docter based the idea for the movie on his real-life daughter named Elie.  He revealed that Elie suffered from extreme emotional outbursts at age eleven and that sparked his research into what later became this film.

I can sympathize with Docter.  I have two daughters, ages 7 and 3.  They are rather dramatic at their current stage. They may be quite a few years from being teenagers but part of me is already afraid of their future hormonal changes.

Like Riley, I can understand the loss and fear of moving to a new place.  Our family moved several times, and several states, between 2005 and 2009 before we settled in northwest Florida.  Shifting to a new community and starting over again brought forth all of those emotional characters in the film for me.  Sadness, fear, anger, disgust and joy often took control of me throughout the day when I was trying to navigate down new roads, make new friends and raise a toddler.  At times, it was difficult but like the movie portrayed, you must let each emotion play out.  We cannot suppress them.

The best lesson conveyed in the film was that moments of sadness can eventually lead to joy.  Both emotions can work together to create a balance in life.  From our darkest moments, we can find hope.  Fear can lead to bravery and empowerment.   Anger can create change for the better.  All of these feelings are important and needed in our existence.

As parents, children and humans, we will all have moments when we lose our temper, shout, cry, laugh or retreat.  This is what makes us human.  This is what makes us unique and special.  We just have to let our passions come forward and take control when needed.  We must recognize that our “insides” will come outside to play so we can cultivate.