Completing Challenges in the Midst of Challenges

Summertime is usually such a carefree, fun time. But this summer feels quite different. Many of us have felt very isolated and been physically distant from others since the COVID-19 pandemic began (mid-March 2020). In June I found myself slipping into an incredibly sad state of mind, possibly the beginning of depression.

I was withdrawn, angry and not connecting with others, not even my husband and children living in my home. After several intense conversations with them, friends and other loved ones, I knew I needed to act quickly and stop alienating myself from those I love. I needed to find something to occupy my mind in a positive way.

My mother-in-law who lives in the suburbs of New Orleans was feeling just as I was. She normally visits us twice in the summer when my children are out of school. With travel restrictions and safety precautions, we are not seeing her (and other family) this year. We talked on the phone in early July and decided we need to pull each other up out of our sorrowful moods.  Together we could help each other feel more connected and increase that social wellness we once had in our lives. It may sound odd, but we have been doing this by working on several 30-day personal challenges together.

You may be thinking we are crazy. With enough external challenges in our everyday lives, why would anyone want to take on a personal challenge? Let me explain.

Our personal challenges are OUR choices to take on. We can control them. We can change them as we see fit. And they are not challenging in the same manner as a pandemic. They are exciting and stimulating.

For example, my eight-year-old daughter is doing a 30-day drawing challenge with her grandmother. Each day they draw something new from a list. Some of the drawing examples have been drafting a self-portrait, favorite animal, something orange, a doodle and more.

Another 30-day challenge we have taken on includes a photo challenge. My 12-year-old daughter, 21-year old niece, 67-year old mother-in-law and 41-year-old me are all taking pictures with our cell phones every day for 30 days using a list of ideas we found online. This includes taking pictures of an accessory, technology, something that makes us feel thankful, nature or just a selfie. My tween is having fun using the filters on her phone to distort faces and images before she sends them to us. She comments when her older cousin and grandmother send their pictures via text. The photos give us something to look forward to each day and often make us laugh. Pictures can say so much without using any words. They help unite us across generations and distances.

The most significant 30-day challenge is the one that my mother-in-law and I are doing together, 30 days of self-reflection (love) journal prompts. Each day we answer a question that helps us reflect on ourselves and our loved ones. Then we share our responses. Some of the questions include topics like what inspires us most and what is our favorite personality trait.

Certain days include giving ourselves a compliment, creating goals or reminiscing about a proud moment from our lives. This particular challenge, more than the others, has been the most rewarding for my mother-in-law and me. We both recently commented that this daily act has been very therapeutic for us- taking the time to think more deeply about our feelings and ourselves.

So that is the difference between taking on a challenge of your choice (taking photos, journaling) and being faced with an unexpected challenge you did not expect (like a world-wide virus).

These 30-day challenges have been giving our family hope during an uncertain, tumultuous time. They are giving us a bit more purpose. We do not feel overwhelmed by them because we just cross off day two or 13 or 26 when that day comes. One small task each day is manageable. We are half-way through the challenge now, and by the end of the month, we can see what we have accomplished. I’m even hoping to turn the challenges into a scrapbook that we can cherish.

I’m not the only one who enjoys taking on a challenge too. My wonderful friend and co-worker, Rachel K., regularly takes on a challenge. Right now she is doing both a fitness challenge and a daily gratitude challenge. She has always been inspiring to me!

Rachel K. says: “I love to do challenges and push myself further, see how far I can go as an individual and as an athlete. It makes me stronger physically, mentally and spiritually.”

I could not agree more with Rachel. After I exercise, I feel so much better mentally. Moving physically helps relieve stress and tension.

Rachel adds that she loves the sense of accomplishment she feels at the close of a challenge and knowing that it was due to her hard work and dedication to see the challenge through.

Rachel: “I love being around like-minded, well-rounded positive individuals who build you up! I’m currently in a summer fitness challenge through Beachbody with a group of five ladies. We message each other in the mornings to determine what our goals of the day will be and then check-in later to see how we’re doing since accountability is key. We love cheering each other on too. I am only as strong as my mind and I know I must make my own journey, no one else’s.”

Rachel has also been writing daily in a gratitude journal after the pandemic began. Like my mother-in-law and me with our journal prompts, Rachel says it helps her be in a better mood when she has the blues and starts missing people.

Isn’t Rachel a rock star?! Like her, I agree that taking on a challenge is something I do to help me be and feel my best. Honestly, for me, these challenges have been my sanity during this pandemic. They give me the strength to face the day, week and month ahead. Plus, a little competition among family and friends makes life more interesting.

I encourage you to find a challenge that suits you, especially one that will help you feel socially well and supported. Share your challenge ideas and plans with your loved ones. You may be surprised that someone else will gladly join you. Find your quest and recruit your tribe because you’re not alone, and you don’t have to be.