Six Clever Disguises of Help and Therapy in the Workplace

Recently I interviewed a mental health counselor for an article.  We discussed some of the main reasons people benefit from attending therapy sessions.  The counselor revealed that a common misconception the general public has is that asking for help is often seen as a weakness.

People may want to have it all in life and try to do things themselves.  But how many of us can perform a job well alone?  How many folks do you know rise to the top or meet a goal without the assistance or support of others?

This thirty-year experienced therapist I spoke to believes that “a courageous person asks for help.”  A hopeful, strong person wants to improve his or her situation.

I let her words sink into me.   I repeat them now as I deal with my own professional and personal struggles.

After my meeting with this educator, I realized that our work surroundings are often like a “therapy room.”  However, we may not always recognize the situation to see our enhancement prospects.  The need or want for employment counseling may not come in the phrase, “I need help.” Instead the notion is disguised in more clever formats.

For example, I bet you have used or heard these terms at some point:

1. I’d like your feedback on this.
Feedback is a great way to ask for help. Requesting for another person to comment on work is a bold, brave move.  It may mean a person stepping out of his or her comfort zone to accept criticism.  But opinions, especially a different perspective, help us grow and challenge us to think in new ways.

2. Can you review this for me? 
A review requires critical thinking and analysis.  These are great tools of assessment.  They might improve a job performance or a personal goal.  An occasional appraisal of one’s work should be done to find out what is working and what steps can be taken next for development.

3. Let’s take a break and go get lunch (or coffee) together. 
Lunch and coffee dates may result in a mentorship or friendship.  A casual meal outside the normal work space offers the chance to relax and be a bit more personal.  Whether it’s a co-worker, supervisor or direct employee, offering an occasional shared meal on personal time takes courage.  This is generating a common ground to help both persons grow and know each other.

4. Have you tried contacting ____?
Making contact with a new individual is a great networking tool.  If a co-worker or supervisor asks you to reach out to a particular person, there must be a valid reason for it.  Perhaps that person can help you do your role better.  Maybe that team member has been where you sat and can offer tips.  Jump at the chance to do this, either on the phone or a meeting directly with that suggested individual.

5. I heard that ____ just did _____.  
Talking about another’s success or failure is a learning opportunity.  Do not think of this as just office gossip.  Instead, listen to the scenario and the problems (or praise) that is being discussed.  What knowledge can you gain from it?  Make a note of the issue and how you would resolve it (or emulate it) in the future if it should cross your direct path.

6. How are you?
Taking the time to ask another person about his or her day shows interest, and more importantly, respect.  One of the great leaders I admire makes it a point to regularly schedule time in his direct report’s offices instead of just staying within his own four walls for meetings.  Have to courage to ask others about them.  Be confident enough to reveal to others something unique that you wish them to know about you and your working style.

These six phrases may seem like the average, every day expressions.  But I urge you to think a bit more profoundly about the intentions and especially the potential results of them. What might happen after a response to a question or statement listed above?   None of these phrases (or questions) should be taken lightly.  When you think about them more carefully, they are all forms of help.  Use them when you need to advance.  Offer them when you see another person struggling.  Throughout our daily routines, we are given chances to have or offer “therapy” to help ourselves and others flourish.