When You Look Back at 2020, What Will You See and Think?

I was having a conversation with a great writing friend yesterday and we were reflecting on this year, 2020. We spoke for an hour catching up on each other’s lives, talking about our children and how we’ve written or journaled a lot this year.

She asked me, “How do you think we’ll look back on 2020? What will our feelings be about it in the future?”

Good questions, right? I don’t know what I’ll think a year from now, five years, 10 years, 20 years…

But here’s how I’m feeling about it right now. Here’s where my head is at the moment –

• 2020 is the year I could have never imagined.
• It’s the year I stayed home, nearly ALL THE TIME – working from home, cooking from home, and my kids doing school from home.
• It’s the year I could sneak in hugs and kisses and eat lunch with my girls whenever I wanted to on most days.
• It’s the year that everyone I know seemed to take hit after hit – pandemic, fears and anxiety, discrimination, ugly/ mean commentary, hurricane damage, wildfire damage, loss of someone loved, loss of a job, depression or mental breakdown, etc., etc.
• It’s the year when I had to let go and lean on others more.
• It’s the year when my two daughters became more like my friends on some days, sharing laughter, tears, deep conversation, crafting, sharing my writing with them and just hanging out all the time because we didn’t have much other choice (We chose to stay isolated).
• I took more photos this year than I have combined for the past two years! I captured a lot more memories.
• I helped both of my kids create online clubs – writing for my oldest daughter and arts & crafts for my youngest. I did so by spending time learning how to create a Google sites (website) and Google classroom (like a social media site for kids that have to be approved to join).
• I realized how much I adore my dishwasher. I load and unload that thing once a day, sometimes twice a day. When you’re cooking all the time, almost three meals per day, you’re dirtying up a lot of dishes!
• Our rescued dog, a Greyador (Greyhound/Labrador mix) became friendly and friends with my husband, finally, after almost two years of her being afraid of him.
• I watched my kids become independent learners. Remote learning started off a little rough but after a few weeks, both of my kids adjusted and even did well. My youngest daughter has learned a lot on the computer this year. My oldest daughter does all of her schoolwork by herself and follows a plan and schedule to keep up with studies.
• My kids missed all of their activities and extracurricular things they used to do…but…
• I found this site called Outschool and from that, they have taken a lot of activities, including things they never would have done in a “normal” year – letter writing and pen pal class, holiday crafting, Halloween party, painting, theater and improv, social classes, learning the cup routine to “Cups” from Pitch Perfect, voice animation and more.
• I wrote a lot! I entered writing contests and even won two of them (so far)! I’m waiting to hear back on at least four more!
• I took on several challenges when the world became very challenging and too much for me this summer and fall– doing daily photo challenges, journaling, fitness and poem-writing in different months this year.
• I rode bikes with my family now that every one of us has a new or updated bicycle.
• I watched so many movies with my family and began making movie lists of things to watch for the holidays and just for fun.
• I went weeks and months without seeing or talking to friends and family that we used to see often. Some friends we used to see every week!
• I slipped into a depression for about six weeks but then my husband, family and a few friends helped lift me up again.
• I became this semi, do-it-myself kind of girl in a way that I have never been before – doing tie dye shirts, baking things from scratch and being a family-fun event planner to keep us active and positive.
• I kept putting things in my happiness jar (except for during those six weeks of my depression), which is now almost full.
• I survived a scary hurricane with minimal damage (very lucky compared to others!) and three days without power, electricity and not a lot of complaining from my kids.
• I began to appreciate every moment and every day much more than I ever had.
• I read more books this year than I have in the last five years combined probably! My only frequent outing is to the library (drive-thru option)!
• I joined two writers groups / associations and am now volunteering with one of them and currently helping a small group with a youth writing contest.
• I helped and encouraged my oldest daughter to write and submit her first story for a youth writing contest.
• My husband and I had more tense moments at certain points this year, but we also loved harder, came to understandings and forgave more this year.
• My two kids have bonded and become so close with each other this year. (They didn’t have anyone else, so why not?)
• I realized that I could do work from home and actually do it more efficiently, even though I miss my work family and friends a ton.
• I had time to look through old photos, letters and things I saved in my computer in order to make meaningful gifts this year for myself, my kids and others – memory books with conversations and photos.
• I thought more about what a privileged life I have had and still have, unlike many others. I think about that often when I’m jogging or out alone and don’t have to worry about what I look like.
• I have prayed more this year than I have in a very long time.
• I have listened to more music this year, including spending time to make a special birthday music playlist for my oldest daughter’s birthday.
• I cried in the shower and in my bed a lot more this year than I have in a long time with worry, fear and disappointment. (Sometimes my youngest child caught me crying and would hug me).
• Was there an election that occurred this year? I think that happened too?
• I aged more and lost track of time. I can see more lines in my face and feel more tension in my body aches.
• I have thought more about my grandparents and have missed them so deeply this year. But their resiliency often inspired and encouraged me to keep facing the challenges.
• I did many video chats and virtual meetings, so many that I lost count.
• I have given away more handmade or homemade gifts this year due to more time, creativity and lack of shopping options.
• I have filled up my gas tank only two or three times between March and November.
• I have attended two virtual writing conferences and watched more writing-related webinars this year than I have in my entire life.
• I have realized that I can be weak and strong, anxious and content, stressed and comforted, happy and sad, deflated and inspired, unmotivated and driven, and sometimes feel each of these feelings all within the same day!
• I have realized that I cannot let a number or a year like 2020 define me. It will shape me and change me, of course, but it doesn’t get the last say in who I am, where I’m going, who I can be and what I will do.

These are the things that came to my head. They are in no particular order. I’m writing all this down now because my memory just isn’t that sharp and vivid like it was in my youth.

What about you? What do you think you will look back and remember most about this wild and crazy ride of 2020?