Culture | Parenting | Writing
The Playlists Birthday Project
Some of you may recall that back in September of 2020, I came up with an idea to give 13 playlists to my daughter who was turning 13 in October. I wrote about it here and made a plea for music requests to be sent in. The project turned out to be a huge hit with my daughter. She loved it. I wrote this letter to her on her birthday explaining how the idea came to be and the reasons behind my 13 songs for her playlist from mom. She gave me permission to share this personal letter with others.
Dear Vivian,
By now I hoped we would be done with quarantine living. Here we are getting ready to celebrate your 13th birthday. This should be such a spectacular time with you entering the teenage years. Instead you’re stuck at home all the time with mom, dad and an annoying (but lovable) little sister. No wonder you never want to leave your room.
You are an extraordinary person. I can’t call you a kid anymore because you’re not. You are more grown up than I am at times. Remember how I was the one crying on your shoulder a few months ago? I shared my fears about the pandemic, and we talked about racism and hate happening in the world. You were braver than me in that moment. I’ll never forget how you comforted me.
This year is one for the history books, a difficult and truly odd time. You have handled the circumstances with understanding and grace. Let that same attitude carry you through other seasons in life.
During dinner the other night I watched you sway in your seat. You do not even realize that you are in motion, singing words in your head when you’re not singing them aloud.
At age four you found your love for music. You began requesting that I play songs for you while you take baths. You haven’t stopped since, except now you take showers.
An idea came to me after I watched you that night, moving
your head, shoulders and hips. You were lightly dancing to your own tunes.
I’m going to create a playlist for you, a special playlist – 13 songs for your
13th birthday, I decided.
Wait, that’s not enough! How can I make that more special?
How can I make that bigger and better?
I know, I’ll create 13 different playlists with 13 songs each and present it to
you on your birthday.
Woah, that’s a lot of songs!
Ooh, I know! I’ll ask people who know you and love you to send me song ideas for these playlists. I’ll ask your dad, sister, grandparents, best friends, cousins, even the choir staff and a few of your favorite teachers. I’ll ask some of my friends for suggestions.
I’ll give you a total of 169 songs on your birthday for you to listen to whenever you want, whenever you need them, for the rest of your life.
I wrote my idea on Facebook requesting songs for your
birthday. I received a few replies right away. Some took longer or required me
reaching out directly to people to submit.
I received texts and emails with songs ranging from Sam Cooke to Elvis, Stevie
Ray Vaughan to Janis Joplin, The Animals to The Beatles, The Eagles to Chicago,
Billy Joel to Elton John, Louis Armstrong to Dionne Warwick, Carole King to
Ingrid Michaelson, Tommy Tutone to Bryan Adams, Sam Smith to Billie Eilish, Bon
Jovi to U2, Montgomery Gentry to Florida Georgia Line, Michael Buble’ to Bruno
Mars, Spice Girls to Taylor Swift, the Friends television theme song to The
Golden Girls’ Thank You for Being A Friend, Sara Bareilles to Colbie Caillat,
Demi Lovato to Fergie and more.
There are songs from musicals like Rent, Mary Poppins and Trolls. There are breathtaking
gospel and orchestra arrangements that I never heard until now. I know you’ll love
them or at least appreciate them. The music will captivate your attention for
days and years to come.
My hope is that you’ll carry these songs with you, listen to them when you want to laugh, feel angry, cheated, heartbroken, happy, sad or you just wish to dance.
I can’t believe how this project I dreamed up for you has brought me joy these past few weeks. Seeing all these different people contribute their favorite songs for you is incredibly special. They care enough to think of what song brings them happiness and are willing to share that chosen melody or an entire playlist with you.
Here’s the amazing thing about music – it makes us feel good. It unites us. Music has helped me get through really sad and dark times.
When I was postpartum with you and depressed but did not tell anyone, I played Landslide every day in the car and cried for weeks. The Landslide brought me down but eventually saved me and brought me back to loving you and myself again. I remember playing certain songs when I was heartbroken over boys growing up. I have songs tied to memories and listening to them immediately returns me to the moment.
Coming up with a playlist for you was not easy. I had a few ideas and then your friends or a grandparent would choose the song I first thought of for you. I let them have it and eventually thought of another one, something even better.
Here’s my playlist, in no particular order except the first and last one was
placed there specifically:
- Bitter Sweet Symphony by The Verve
- Under Pressure by Queen and David Bowie
- Don’t Go Breaking My Heart by Elton John with Kiki Dee
- Let it Be by The Beatles
- Bruises by Train
- My Life Would Suck Without You by Kelly Clarkson
- Flashlight by the Pitch Perfect 2 cast
- Mom by Meghan Trainor
- I Won’t Give Up by Jason Mraz
- Ain’t No Mountain High Enough by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell
- Lived by One Republic
- Stand By You by Rachel Platton
- Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey
Number one on the list is no surprise. You know it as my ringtone. I love Bitter Sweet Symphony by The Verve. The lyrics are sad but important. The singer is saying he (we) can’t change. We can act like a million different people from one day to the next, but we are who we are and that’s it. Change is not possible for everyone, and if it does occur, it can be slow and painful. The title says it all – life is both bitter and sweet, and we all die. There is no escaping death.
OK, that’s a downer, I know. Let’s move on. They get better, I promise.
Number two is my feel-better anthem: Under Pressure by Queen and David Bowie. I always play this song when I feel stressed and anxious. When I’m feeling pressured, belting out the words to Under Pressure at the top of my lungs improves my mood. Why don’t we give ourselves one more chance? Why don’t we give love one more chance? Always remember that my girl. Give yourself more chances.
Number three is just a fun song I have always loved. It does not have sentimental value to me. I just can’t help but smile and sing along to Elton John and Kiki Dee’s Don’t Go Breaking My Heart. Every good playlist needs a song like this, especially after learning you will die and will endure pressures, am I right?
Number four is a classic. You have to love and appreciate The Beatles. I chose Let it Be because at your fifth-grade talent show, one of the amazing teachers at your school played and sang this song for the students. I could tell after that experience that you liked it. Paul McCartney is my favorite Beatle. I once saw an interview where he describes how the words to this song came for him. Learning this made me love Paul more. Sometimes you just have to let things be.
Number five is Bruises, a song we both sang in the car together on many occasions. This song by Train has a wonderful message. Over time, we develop bruises and flaws. They make up who we are. We should not try to change them. Also, you and I are always bumping into objects and receiving actual bruises. So, this one has a literal, funny meaning for us too.
Number six was the song I finally settled on after much internal debate. You and I definitely went through a major Kelly Clarkson phase, repeatedly playing her greatest hits. I chose this one because my life would suck without you, and that’s the truth. You make my life better and cause me to be a better person.
Number seven is a song we learned from Pitch Perfect 2. This one I carefully picked because of the words. Remember how the finale of the movie had the Barden Bellas, a few of their moms and the generations of singers before them. I hope when you feel lost or in the dark, you’ll remember those that have come before you. Many women and men have helped light the way for you.
OK, you got me. Number eight is a total shameless plug for me. You might have a mom, she might be the bomb. But ain’t nobody got a mom like mine (you). Her love’s ’til the end, she’s my best friend. These are important words you must always remember! Make no mistake, Meghan Trainor knows what she is talking about.
Number nine is I Won’t Give Up by Jason Mraz. I’ll never give up on you, sweetie, but my hope is that you’ll surround yourself with people who will extend to you that same courtesy – people who will support you and be your pal during the tough times, not just the good moments.
Number 10 has me bringing out the big hand gestures. You’ve seen them! You can’t go wrong with this duet of Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell. Cause baby there ain’t no mountain high enough…Ain’t no valley low enough…Ain’t no river wide enough…To keep me from getting to you babe. Sing with me and use your whole body!
Number 11 played on the radio recently and I thought…Yes, that’s what I want to be said about you, me, and our family. Lived by One Republic is incredible. I, I did it all. I owned every second that this world could give. I saw so many places, the things that I did. Yeah with every broken bone…I swear I lived. Have no regrets my child because you lived.
Number 12 is Stand by You by Rachel Platton. This is a beautiful, powerful song. As your mom, I feel these sentiments deeply: Love, you’re not alone, ’cause I’m gonna stand by you. Even if we can’t find heaven, I’m gonna stand by you. Darling, I don’t know if heaven is real. I mean, I can’t prove it. But I’ll be with you no matter what. I hope you know that my love for you means that you’re never alone.
Number 13 is our favorite. How could I not include Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey? It’s the perfect conclusion to my playlist for you. Never stop believing in yourself. Believe in the potential of miracles. Believe in hope, kindness, opportunities, light and passion in this world. Hold onto feelings of love to get you through any challenging times that may come your way as you age. I know you’re only 13, but learning to have faith now will help you be resilient. Have faith that you can do anything, be anything and face anything that you set your mind to achieving. I believe that, and not just because I’m your mother.
Thanks to the internet, you can do anything, even find do-it-yourself trapeze artist videos and teach yourself, if you wish. Will you consider using this playlist as part of your circus act? I promise as your Mom to Stand by You in the hospital room, kiss your Bruises, Let it Be up to the doctors to go Under Pressure and fix you up again. And well, you get the idea…
Happy birthday! Happy listening to your playlists, 169 songs to shape your
musical taste buds! I hope you like mine best! Although the rest are fabulous
too. Happy 13!
Love now, always and forever,
Mom
Maybe my letter to her will inspire someone else to do a musical playlist gift? Maybe it will give you the creative freedom to find ways to bond with your children, friends or loved ones? Whatever it may do, I hope you enjoyed reading about it. I hope you’ll let music in your life often and let it uplift your soul and wellbeing.
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