A Great Rejection and an Even Greater Lesson

Rejections are a big part of life, especially to a writer’s life like mine.  We receive them quite frequently.

Usually they are some standard, boring reply that says your work was not selected but to try submitting again. But every now and then, you receive something off-the-wall, like this one I had in my inbox back in October of 2013 from the publisher, A River and Sound Review: 

Dear Mandy,
You are no doubt a wonderful person, and if we were to meet I am sure we would likely hit it off and enjoy a fine dinner and maybe a few drinks before following each other home where we would allow one thing lead to another and eventually end up sharing a socially intimate moment–like reading Melville in the moonlight. But we are not meeting in person. We are meeting over email, where I must deliver the harsh and unfeeling news that we are declining “A Real Mom’s Resume” on the grounds that among the many, many fine submissions we receive, yours did not rank among what we measured as the finest. But don’t lose heart: we are only one among several literary journals on this rock called terra firma, and so our opinion can only be deemed as significant as our organization’s annual budget. You should consider sending this elsewhere.

And consider us again.
Onward!
Jay

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Wasn’t that great?  I read that and laughed out loud, raised my eyebrows and dropped my chin before I ever realized that I was actually being rejected for my personal work.  I didn’t feel sad or too bad for myself for long.

In fact, I thought, “Wow, now that’s good writing!”  That rejection was clever, funny and did make me want to resubmit to that publisher again.

After thinking about it for a day, I decided to write back to that editor who rejected me with a kind reply.  Here’s what I said:

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That was the funniest, most creative and unique rejection I have ever received for my writing submission.  For once, instead of being sad and like a failure, your words made me smile and and laugh.  How very delightful and unexpected.  That shows that you have a powerful way with your words.  Thank you!   I will keep trying elsewhere and with A River and Sound Review too! 
If you were to meet me, you would think I was wonderful too, by the way!  🙂

Mandy

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And guess what happened after that?  Jay replied once again.  He (or she?) even gave a reference for the type of work they are looking for so I could better equip myself for submissions a second go-round.  Here’s the reply to my reply:
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Hey Mandy:
 
Of course, we send out the more common rejection letters as well–which are not as much fun–but occasionally we come across work from writers we are interested in hearing from again, and so we’re happy to send out a note like this–even though it contains bad news. 
 
I know exactly what you mean when you say rejections feel like failure.  I’ve determined that it’s not worth giving someone else that power over me, and that’s why I like sending out letters like this one.  Please check out some of the humor in our past issues to see what we’ve published in the past.  That will give you an idea of what we like. 
 
Here’s an example from David Huddle: http://www.riverandsoundreview.org/Humor/Issue6/Huddle.htm
 
Jay

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That’s when I realized that rejections can also be a form of art too. They should be written well.  If I ever have to deliver bad news like that, I want to do it with style and humor.

I am glad I took the time to respond back to this Jay and thank him (her?) for an interesting written rejection.  I was even more surprised to receive that second response back with some helpful advice.

I had forgotten all about this exchange but I was reminded of the experience when my friend Sarah shared her most recent, comical rejection.  Hers was clever and unique too.  Chin up Sarah, as you know, it is still better than the standard “Thanks but no thanks” reply we’ve both gotten in the past.  I believe in your work and I know you’ll find the right place for it elsewhere.

For the most part, I take these rejections (clever or boring) and I let them fuel me to send my work immediately elsewhere.  I had forgotten what piece of mine that I sent to Jay.  Now that I look back and reflect, I realize that I did find a home for it after all.  It took me several different publishers and six months later, but eventually I did find the perfect place for it.   In fact I just signed a contract with Brain Child Magazine to have that cleverly rejected piece featured in their upcoming Fall issue.

So writers and all people who experience rejections, don’t let these minor setbacks get you down for too long!  Someone else may just love it exactly as it is.  Jay is right —  Onward indeed!