Give Yourself One More

“Can I have just one more hug?” my three year old asked me this morning shyly.

“Of course!” I replied. “You can always have one more hug from me. You can have as many hugs as you want,” I said. We embraced each other.

I sure did appreciate my child’s extra affection and attention to me.  I didn’t realize how much I needed it after a tiring, disappointing week.

Yet sometimes a simple phrase from a child is all the inspiration one needs to move past a self-pity party.

Oh and do not feel guilty when you feel sad or depressed for a short time.  After all we ladies and moms feel guilty about enough already, right?  I am working on improving that or ridding it from my life.

Instead be sure to put a limited time frame on that emotional down-spiral (24-hours is my target).  As Lean In Movement Director Sheryl Sanberg said, “Be open and honest about your struggles.  Share them so we can all work together to find solutions.”  I was just invited to a Leaned In Circle group at my employer’s and I’m looking forward to attending the event. I need more struggling, empowering women in my life – those who really get it and understand the daily strife.

We learn by sharing our good and our bad stories. I set a goal for myself recently but did not achieve it.  I went for a specific opportunity but was not chosen.  I sure felt like a big, fat failure because of that.  I thought everything I had done for the past three years had prepared me and built up for that chance.  But I was wrong.

So I cried.  I wallowed.  It did not seem fair.  Why wasn’t I good enough?  Why wasn’t I given a chance?

Then after I had my 24-hour self-wallowing extravaganza, I decided I could and should learn from the experience. I reached out to the person who made the decision.  I asked why I was passed over and what I could do to enhance myself in the future, to be the ‘chosen one,’ if you will.  Much to my surprise, I received a response with suggestions.  I received tips that would make me better. I also received a few compliments on what I was doing now or had done in the past.

I realized I deserved one more chance.  I deserve one more hug just like my youngest daughter gave me earlier today.

I gave myself one day to feel bad, feel angry, and feel undeserving.  Then I gave myself one more pep talk to return to the sensible world.

I am thinking now that we (especially women though) should all give ourselves one more (insert that thing…) when we need it.

For example:
Give yourself one more cookie.
Give yourself one more pat on the back.
Read one more chapter in that book you’re enjoying.
Give yourself one compliment.
Give yourself one more minute so you’re not rushing around and feeling stressed.
Have one more cup of coffee.
Give yourself a chance to show your worth.
Give yourself a seat at the big table with the big boys and girls.
Speak up one more time to make your point.
Give yourself another hour to stay up late.
Give yourself a positive quote for the day.
Buy that reasonable one thing you had on your mind that will make you feel good.
Give yourself one more…

Don’t give up.  Try one more time.  Then try again.  Give yourself one more opportunity to learn, grow, laugh, indulge and be lively.

What is one more thing you can give yourself today?

I’m making my list now and it seems to start and end with hugs from those around me.